pro•gress (’prä-gres)

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Just when I’ve run out of blogworthy material, another unauthorized reproduction of the ski bunny photo surfaces:

ANNOUNCING THE WORLD’S FIRST ACTUAL SUPERVILLAIN Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to tell you a story. A story that may very well burrow into your soul and take up permanent residence; a chilling tale so unbelievable it would be incredible, if only it weren’t absolutely true. I talk of the arrival of the world’s first supervillain.” CONTINUE READING…

Unfortunately, I am not the “supervillain” in this article. Even more unfortunately, spellcheck was “aparrently” not used - and there’s no “aparrent” reason why this photo is associated with this story. Still, I’M ON FREAKIN’ CRACKED.COM!! This is truly an honor. Truly. In fact, this might be the coolest thing that has ever happened to me! It might offset the fact that I have duct tape on my glasses right now!

I have a form of hypodontia - a condition of naturally missing one or more teeth - and don’t have any wisdom teeth:

This kind of hypodontia is pretty common, and is believed to be a product of natural selection in response to changes in human eating habits. It is also believed that the presence or absence of wisdom teeth depends on variation at the PAX9 gene locus, which regulates tooth development in humans and many other species.

I think that’s very interesting - but everyone else is probably bored to tears.

References:

Mensah JK, Ogawa T, Kapadia H, Cavender AC, D’Souza RN. Functional analysis of a mutation in PAX9 associated with familial tooth agenesis in humans. J Biol Chem. 2004 Feb 13;279(7):5924-33. View abstract.

Pereira TV, Salzano FM, Mostowska A, et al. Natural selection and molecular evolution in primate PAX9 gene, a major determinant of tooth development. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2006. Apr 11;103(15):5676-81. View abstract.

On Easter Sunday 2005, I wore a bunny costume to Wachusett Mountain so I could get a free ski pass. After I posted pictures and video, this ski bunny / snow bunny photo started appearing on random websites, and even climbed to the top of Google Image Search!

I was okay as long as the image wasn’t used for promotional purposes - but then this ad appeared in the Salt Lake City Weekly paper, and this listing appeared on eBay. That is not okay. I’m sure neither Cisero’s nor Scotty Harmon Sunglasses made tons of money from the picture - but I’m not sure it’s legal to use a photo from a copyrighted website in an advertisement. Unless I got paid - but I got nothing, not even a coupon or even a request for permission! All I have is the dubious honor of being the #1 ski bunny (and #3 snow bunny) on Google.

By now, I’ve gotten used to people misappropriating the photo. Still, I was horrified to see this:

Upon closer examination, this particular case of identity theft isn’t too bad. First of all, unlike the Cisero’s ad, it doesn’t appear in a free weekly paper next to an ad for a female escort service. Rather, my impersonator is a pretty and wholesome-looking girl - so wholesome, in fact, that her Photoshop expert went the extra mile to cover up my scandalously under-dressed person:

Finally, it doesn’t appear to be for personal gain - unlike this this eBay seller who put HIS trademark on MY photo. But it’s only a matter a time before someone else uses my picture to get ahead. Who will it be?

Sincere apologies about the lack of updates on the story of Buddy the caterpillar (who did turn into a beautiful Buddy-Fly). Photos & stories soon to follow.

I’ve been pretty busy, but I wanted to write something because today is kind of a special day for me. Ten years ago on this day, I was almost killed in a bike-SUV collision. I had critical injuries - the hospital staff later confessed that they didn’t think I would survive - but here I am today. I am a little less coordinated than I used to be, I have quite a few scars, and still struggle with learning & memory problems - but I still think I am the luckiest girl alive.

I have posted some images from that day, and the weeks that followed. The pictures aren’t too bad; maybe just a little bit sad. However, there’s a happy smiling picture of me at the end:

Buddy is now getting ready to enter the pupal stage, and is hanging on the side of a mesh cage by a silk thread.

It’s really fun to watch the caterpillar eat dill - they eat all day long, and poop out these perfectly spherical little poops that smell like dill. I was hoping to catch Buddy eating on video, because it’s quite mesmerizing (see this photo I took years ago, before the wonders of YouTube). But alas, when I came home today, Buddy had already started to metamorphose. As seen here, he has decided to pupate on the side of his cage:

In this blown-out close-up image, you can really see the silk he has laid out to attach himself firmly to the wire mesh:

It’s incredible to watch a caterpillar transform into a butterfly - undoubtedly one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Hopefully I will be able to capture more of the action on film.

Astonishingly, Buddy grew approximately 33% in 24 hours. I barely recognized him, but luckily I only have one caterpillar and he was sitting on the same sprig of dill (which appears to be shrinking).

It’s been a few years since I’ve raised wild caterpillars, and I thought I had retired from caterpillar wrangling for good. But a spur-of-the-moment trip to the Walden Pond wilderness united me with this young buck of a caterpillar named Buddy:

Buddy was just a tiny little caterpillar, probably the runt of the litter. But after just one day of non-stop eating, he has almost doubled in size to a whopping one inch in length (pictured above).

Stay tuned for more adventures of Buddy the Caterpillar. In the meantime, please enjoy photos of my previous caterpillars/butterflies.

THE RUNNING OF THE BRIDES starring MANDIE FOX with a cameo by WENDY CHAO will premiere on The Learning Channel!

I didn’t realize it was April 1 until Victor sent me this photo of his bicycle. It appears that his staff decorated his bike so it would go with his outfits. How cute!

My “kitty litter box” birthday cake last year was such a hit, I think I’ll make it again this year. In case you can’t wait until January 31 to be utterly grossed out, here is a picture and the recipe:

INGREDIENTS

2 boxes white cake mix
2 packages instant pudding mix (vanilla, cheesecake, or coconut flavor)
1 large package vanilla sandwich cookies
green or blue food coloring
tootsie rolls or chocolate covered nuts (bridge mix) for the poop
eggs, vegetable oil, milk (to prepare the cake and pudding)

Equipment:

large freezer bags and rolling pin (for crushing the cookies)
large cat litter pan (preferably clean and unused)
cat litter scoop (also preferably clean and unused)

Procedure:

1. Prepare cake according to package instructions. Let cool. If desired, trim off the golden brown crust.
2. Meanwhile, prepare pudding mix according to package instructions. Chill.
3. Place cookies in freezer bags and crush into litter-sized granules. Alternatively, crumble the cookies in a food processor.
4. Color about 1/3 cup of cookie crumbs with a few drops of blue food coloring.
5. Crumble cake in a large bowl, and mix gently with the pudding and 1/2 of the uncolored cookie crumbs. Place in litter pan.
6. Sprinkle remaining cookie crumbs (including the colored crumbs) on top.
7. To make simulated cat poops, heat unwrapped tootsie rolls briefly in the microwave until soft and pliable (a few seconds should do). With clean hands, shape into poo-like blobs and arrange in clumps in the litter box (refer to the above picture or your cat’s litter box). Alternatively, use chocolate-covered bridge mix.
8. Serve with the litter scoop.

Enjoy!

An observant telemarktips reader sent me this tip yesterday:

I stumbled across this on ebay and recognized the pic from a teletips thread, suspected that this wasn’t a legit use of your photo, and thought you might want to put a stop to it:

That’s a screenshot of the original listing from this eBay seller, who put HIS trademark on MY ski bunny / snow bunny photo from Easter 2005. Nice.

Since I didn’t do anything the last time someone used the photo in an advertisement without paying up, I decided to take action this time. I sent photographer/bounty hunter Alexander Scott on the trail:

Dear Scottyharmon1: Quick note to let you know that you are using a photograph I took of my friend Wendy Chao for your eye wear image. As a power seller I am sure that you are aware that eBay does not approve of unauthorized image use. I would be happy to sell you limited usage rights to this lovely image for $375. Look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Alexander Scott www.alexanderscott.com“

The reply:

Alexander, just a note to commend you on your fine work. We viewed your website and love your photography. We are also professional photographers and appreciate great work. We have suspended the use of the gallery photo until our decision is made as to how we will decide to use it. Best regards, Scotty Harmon”

And another reply:

Hello Alexander and thank you for your email. I was not aware that there was a problem using this photo and will be happy to pay for the use of this photograph going forward. I would like to discuss this with my graphics department and we will get back to you with an answer as to our decision. Thank you again, Scotty Harmon”

Sounds like a reasonable guy. I hope he sells a lot of sunglasses and pays Alex for the photo. I also hope he’s not selling those sunglasses I’m wearing in that photo - they put a big gash on my face when I crashed at Alta a few years ago.

It appears that I am CNN’s top Coney Island Correspondent! More footage that I shot on-location appeared on CNN.com today (click image for video):

This video contains 10 seconds of another ride on the Cyclone. I was sitting in the middle car, which, believe it or not, makes for a better video than the front car. The middle car gives the steadiest shot (the front and rear cars jump the track a lot), and you can see the other cars and riders - making it feel like you’re actually riding the oldest and scariest rollercoaster in the world.

The rest of the video was taken on the seemingly innocuous Wonder Wheel, which proves to be quite a terrifying ride due to the swinging cars and dizzying heights. The director’s cut of this nauseating ride can be viewed here.

Too bad Coney Island is closed for the season (and Astroland is closed forever) - otherwise, I could be saying this every weekend:

For , reporting to you live from Coney Island, I’m Wendy Chao. Back to you, Anderson Cooper.”

One of the videos I shot on the Coney Island Cyclone landed a spot on CNN.com:

It’s interesting how they edited the video so the beginning of the ride was actually at the end of the video. It doesn’t make much sense when you watch it - but who am I to question . In any case, you can see here:

I’m not one to post things in a timely manner, so the rest of my Coney Island photos and videos will come at a later date. In the meantime, please enjoy Mandie’s photos, Mary’s photos, and the website of Brendan The Pretty Good - an old friend who I was delighted to see performing in the Coney Island Circus Sideshow.

I’ve been making pilgrimages all summer to Coney Island, the last great American icon. Tomorrow I make my final journey to Coney Island’s Astroland amusement park, as the land underneath it has been sold to the evil Thor Equities. After September 9, Astroland will cease to exist. The Cyclone rollercoaster and the Wonderwheel are historical landmarks and will continue to operate, but they just won’t be the same without the boardwalk, the fortune tellers, the junky booths, and the $0.25 toilets.

Buried deep within my film archives was some footage I shot at the “Running of the Brides” wedding dress sale at Filene’s basement, some of which was used for a documentary that will air next year on The Learning Channel. This scene features my friend Tomoki buried deep within a wedding dress, and was probably deemed too controversial for TLC. Here is an exclusive look:

Famous French movie star Juliette Binoche has been conspicuously absent from recent tabloids, and it is rumored that she has gone undercover for a role as a world-class scientist. Unconfirmed reports have placed her at an eye research institute in Boston, studying the pathologies of the choroidal vasculature and retinal pigment epithelium (RPE) in age-related macular degeneration (AMD). A recent photo suggests that this may be true:

Like Ms. Binoche, this woman speaks with a French accent and does not appreciate being chased by paparazzi. Note the other striking similarities to the talented star:

A. Impeccably groomed eyebrows
B. Miniature disco ball (Ms. Binoche is a purported collector of small- to mid-sized disco balls)
C. Lustrous hair

This woman has taken great lengths to conceal her real identity, and even created a phony Facebook profile. If you get the chance, please tell her what an amazing scientist she is, despite having played only non-scientific roles in the past.